QUENTIN LETTS: Kemi Badenoch pole-vaulted straight into Ukraine, Greenland and Venezuela. Flustered Starmer fluffed his phrases and boggled at his briefing paper

Jittery. That was Sir Keir Starmer as PMQs began. He blew into the Commons half an hour after the Russian supertanker Marinera changed course in the North Atlantic following its seizure by US forces.

Sir Keir chose not to mention the dramatic maritime grab. Hard to say why not. The news would have gripped the Commons. It would have brought a touch of glamour to our potatoey PM. Perhaps the Americans had bound him to secrecy.

Instead, he made a lame joke at Reform’s expense – something to do with the Russian Orthodox Christmas – and touched briefly on Ukraine. He also bragged about his breakfast clubs and a rise in the minimum wage that employers must pay. ‘There’s much more to come this year as we turn the corner,’ quacked Sir Keir.

Speaker Hoyle was already fidgety. He hates it when Sir Keir does a long preamble to PMQs.

Kemi Badenoch was more direct. She pole-vaulted straight into Ukraine, Greenland and Venezuela. It was ‘astonishing’ Sir Keir was not making a full statement about Ukraine. None of his predecessors would have behaved in such a manner.

Over the past few months, Kemi Badenoch has earned Sir Keir’s attention, writes Quentin Letts. The momentum was all with this tiny, deep-voiced, punctilious woman at the Opposition box

Also: Had he spoken to Donald Trump? What leverage did he have to stop the White House going (more) mad on Greenland? How many troops would Sir Keir be sending to Ukraine? What were the terms of engagement to be?

The House fell utterly still. Over the past few months Mrs Badenoch has earned its attention. Cabinet ministers watched in a sullen grump. As the exchanges between Mrs B and Sir Keir continued, and as the Speaker added his own criticism of Sir Keir for not doing a proper Commons statement, the momentum was all with this tiny, deep-voiced, punctilious woman at the Opposition box, nowadays quite comfortable presenting herself as Sir Keir’s equal.

The nasal knight was irked. It niggled him, her tone of knowing scepticism as she claimed he wouldn’t come to the Commons because he was ‘scared of us being able to ask him questions’. Mrs Badenoch added that he would have skipped PMQs, too, had he only been able. One of her questions to Sir Keir included the word ‘surrender’ three times. She was, in the spirit of ‘drill, baby, drill’, gouging into the Prime Minister’s character, and on his supposedly safe topics of foreign and military affairs.

When a premier can’t upstage his challenger on war, you can only gawp.

Sir Keir started fluffing his words. He boggled at the briefing file in his hand and was soon in such a fluster that pieces of paper nearly slipped to the table. Speaker Hoyle barged in once more to make the PM’s life no easier.

Sir Keir at PMQs yesterday. He chose not to mention the dramatic maritime grab, writes Quentin Letts. Hard to say why not. The news would have gripped the Commons

Sir Keir’s new parliamentary aide, Abena Oppong-Asare, hurriedly passed Rachel Reeves a hand-scribbled note for the PM. Ms Reeves held it upside down at first, then the wrong way round. Sir Keir snatched at the document but thrust it back at Ms Reeves after a glance. The last thing you need, when in trouble at PMQs, is some half-wit aide making dud suggestions.

Matters went a little better for Sir Keir when he managed to drag Mrs Badenoch on to party-political matters and the old ‘14 wasted years’ routine. Soon he was slagging off the shadow Attorney General – hardly a household name – and accusing the Conservatives of being soft on the IRA. Heck, anything would do to try to neutralise this Badenoch attack.

And it was partly successful. Labour MPs, who had earlier been so quiet, roused themselves to cheer their leader. Even Wes Streeting and Trade Secretary Peter Kyle, who earlier had been gossiping and laughing to one another, felt obliged to make a show of support for their beleaguered helmsman.

In all, therefore, a difficult session for Sir Keir. He seemed to sense his inadequacies. After parting words with the Speaker he fled back to his office for more news of that tanker, a Prime Minister bothered and moth-eaten by self-doubt.