‘My man is obsessive about a stunner from his fitness center – I’m satisfied they’re bonking’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
I’m being rejected
My guy is obsessed with a gorgeous woman who works at his gym. I’ve spied on her and she looks amazing with a fantastic figure and incredible air of authority.
He goes to the gym every day for everything from boxing and Pilates to high intensity workouts and swim.
She’s always there and he gushes about how brilliantly talented she is. Yes, he now looks incredible – all toned and defined – but he’s distant and evasive.
I’ve convinced myself they’re sleeping together. Several times recently he’s come home very late.
The first time he claimed to have been out drinking with his new boss. The second time he said he’d bumped into an old school friend.
Since then, he hasn’t bothered offering any excuses at all and I haven’t asked for any either…
I’m not stupid; I can tell when I’m being taken for a fool and that’s just how I feel now. He and I are no longer having sex. He blames the pressure of work, but I’m sure he’s getting his love elsewhere…
Several times now I’ve attempted to seduce him wearing nothing more than high heels with a rose between my teeth, but he simply rolls over and sighs: “Give it a rest”. I’m insulted and sexually frustrated.
I’m so tempted to stalk them. I want to wait outside that blasted gym and follow them back to her place or wherever it is they go to, to bonk. I’d love to front her up and give her a piece of my mind.
Suddenly my life doesn’t feel normal anymore. I need to know what is going on so that I can fix it.
JANE SAYS: Resist the urge to stalk the female gym worker because you have no proof that she’s done anything wrong.
If you make a nuisance of yourself then you could find yourself in serious trouble.
Your issue is with your boyfriend, the guy you live with.
I understand your frustration with him. He’s acting strangely and you don’t know what is going on. He’s regularly coming home late and avoiding sex with you.
Going to the gym every day is full on. Why does he feel that’s necessary? Is he depressed? Addicted to exercise or running from something?
I suggest you pick the right moment and ask him to come clean. Make it clear that you’re not stupid. His habits have changed and you don’t know where you stand anymore. Certain things no longer add up. You’re not prepared to sit back and be lied to or made a fool of.
Is he having an affair with this girl or someone else?
Only when you’ve experienced his reaction will you be able to decide what to do next. If you simply can’t cope with the current situation, then perhaps you’d benefit from moving out for a while and finding some space – and thinking time – on your own.
As sensitive humans we can only take so much. Being rejected in the bedroom must be humiliating and hard. Being left twiddling your thumbs while he’s out all hours is insulting.
The truth must out if you and he have any chance of fixing this relationship and moving forward as a loving and committed couple.
Bad drunk
A few weeks ago I got very drunk with my mates and rang my ex-girlfriend. She came round and we had sex.
It was amazing.
The next time I got sloshed I called her again and invited her to move back in with me. Now we’re a couple once more and I’m happy – only no one is talking to me. My family disapprove and say I’m a fool. I know my girl did some horrible things to me in the past (cheated, stole money etc), but it feels good this time around. How dare anyone judge us?
JANE SAYS: I do hope you’re not making a massive mistake. Why don’t your family like this woman? Why did you and she part company the last time around? If she wasn’t right for you in the past, then how is she better now?
Has she changed? Have you? Could it be that she’s desperate for a bolthole and is simply charming you to keep a roof over her head and food in her belly? After all, she didn’t waste any time in getting round to you after that first booty call. Maybe you need to open your eyes and accept that your family members all love you and that they have genuine fears and a point.
Bore off
How do I stop my husband’s boring mate from coming round to our house every Friday night?
He hangs out with us for five and six hours at a time. He drinks our drink and eats our food without contributing a penny. Finally, my husband is forced to tell him to leave, as we need to go to bed.
No number of hints deter him. The greedy bloke is bullet proof and I’ve had enough.
JANE SAYS: Forget hints and niceties; this fella needs to be told that these unwelcome surprise visits need to end. Sadly, if your husband can’t find the right words then you’ll have to step in. You’ll have to speak to him and explain that you need your time back. Make it clear that you want to be free to be able to go out, see other mates or simply chill out on a Friday if you want to. As this fella is your husband’s mate, then suggest that the two of them meet down the local pub or coffee shop in future. The fact is that this man is using you both for food, drink and somewhere to hang out. If he’s lonely or bored, then he needs to make other plans.
Big kid
Our son has always had a strong sense of entitlement. As a child and teenager, he used to literally jump up and down and scream until he got what he wanted. Now he’s 34 and expects his father and I to sell our house and give him the proceeds to cover his debts. We’ve said ‘no’ and now he’s threatening never speak to us again.
JANE SAYS: Your son needs to hear that you will not fall for emotional blackmail. He’s a man who now needs to start taking responsibility for his own life and actions. What’s the point in all of you losing everything? Stay strong and don’t cave in. Offer to go through his accounts. Promise to support and advise him but don’t risk your security.
