‘We made a intercourse tape with eight different folks however now he cannot sustain with my attractive calls for’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Splash the cash
My long-term boyfriend can’t keep up with my insatiable sex appetite. He’s a nice enough fella but fails to match me in the bedroom.
It’s not as if I didn’t warn him about how horny I am. On our very first date I calmly explained that I am a woman with a large appetite for a lot of edgy sex. He looked me in the eye and swore that he’d be able to match me orgasm-for-orgasm Well he can’t.
Now that we’re an established couple it’s becoming abundantly clear that he’s just not up to the mark. During our early days together, we attended sex clubs; we used numerous sex toys and enjoyed group romps with other couples. One night we made a sex film with EIGHT extras that I found on the Internet. It was a hoot.
He led me to believe that he was up for anything and everything and I thought I’d found the perfect partner. But, just recently, he’s started to let me down.
The other week he pretended he was ill to get out of going to a swinging weekend. He then blew a fuse when I announced that I was going on my own.
Now he’s complaining because I’m determined to splash the cash on tickets to an exclusive, up-market sex party for my birthday.
Only, he’s moaning that he doesn’t want to go. He says he doesn’t understand why he must keep sharing me with others. Why can’t we just be a ‘normal couple’? Well, I don’t want to be normal. I need to be outrageous. I must live on the edge. I feel that I’ve given him so much. If he doesn’t buck up and raise his game, he’s going to lose me. How do I make him understand how serious this is?
JANE SAYS: Things were good in the crazy, lust-filled, early days of your relationship. You and your guy pushed back the barriers, blew caution to the wind and had fun.
But now that the dust has settled, your man is beginning to reveal his true self. The reality is that he doesn’t want to keep up with you. He finds your tastes and sexual demands far too extreme.
In an ideal world, he’d like to settle down into a calmer, monogamous relationship. That doesn’t make him wrong and you right, but you must accept that you both want very different things from a partner and from life. Clear the air with an honest chat. Explain to him that you want more than he can give. Can a compromise be found or are there too many differences and needs to be resolved? Sadly, if this relationship can’t be saved because you’re incapable of finding enough middle ground, then vow to part on the best of terms in the hope that you’ll both go on to meet new people who will fulfill your wishes and make you feel whole again.
No parting is easy, but, maybe, this must be done if you’re not to end up hating each other.
As for you moving forward as a single woman, I would urge you to safeguard your mental and sexual health. Make sure that you always practice safe sex i.e. with a condom and don’t take any unnecessary risks. If you ever feel that you might have a sex addiction, then speak to your GP in the first instance.
Property porn
When my partner told me that she was giving up her well-paid job to start her own dress making business, I was worried how we’d cope for money. But she assured me that she could earn just as much.
Well, it isn’t happening and we’re knee deep in debt.
I’ve discovered that she does nothing but look at property websites all day. She’s a property porn addict. This is such a waste of time and effort because I have no desire to move from this home. I’m furious with her for squandering her time and her talents.
This is leading to rows.
JANE SAYS: It’s so easy to get distracted by interesting websites when working from home. Being self-employed doesn’t suit everyone and if she’s failing to earn any money (and therefore cover your outgoings), then you both need to think again. Sit her down and show her the bank statements and the bills. Suggest you both start afresh and find a different way. Don’t for one minute suggest she’s a disappointment for failing to get her business off the ground. Offer to support her and be mindful and sensitive to her feelings.
Contact the National Debtline (0808 808 4000) if you need help in tackling your finances. Level with her and explain that you are concerned. I can’t believe that she’s happy with the way things have turned out.
Cinderella complex
My mum is jealous of my success and salary.
Every time I go to see her, she makes me clean her house and give her money.
I have a demanding job and I’m going places.
She constantly tells me that I owe her for everything, yet she never encouraged me in my studies.
Not only did she bring a stream of unpleasant boyfriends into our home, but I was expected to cook and clean for them too. These days she’s single and bitter.
I’ve done everything for her for as long as I can remember. I wouldn’t care if never saw her – or her crummy house – again.
JANE SAYS: You’re an adult now and entitled to be treated with respect. You’ve got to find the courage to tell your mum ‘enough’. Helping her out, because you want to, is one thing. But it’s not your duty to sort her mess. You have your own life now.
Suggest you meet on neutral ground and tell her that you refuse to go on like this. She’ll always be your mum, but you insist on being treated as an equal.
You won’t put up with being disrespected. As for any money – only give what you can afford to spare/lose.
Sick making
My brother’s new girlfriend is so fake I can’t stand to be in the same room as her. I can’t bear it when she pretends to be interested in something I’m doing, because I know she’s only trying to impress him.
She thinks he’s wealthy and has got money to burn, but he borrows cash off me. Should I tell her?
JANE SAYS: Resolve to be the bigger person and resist the urge to cause trouble. If you criticise your brother’s new partner, then he won’t thank you for it. He’s in love.
You may consider his new partner insincere, but at least she’s trying to be nice. Don’t say anything about money; smile sweetly, be friendly and just see how things pan out. This relationship may not even go the distance.
