‘I’m hooked on dishonest on my spouse – I bonk different ladies breakfast, lunch and dinner’

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

Sexual buffet

I’m a married man secretly dating beautiful women. Am I the worst human alive? I’ve become addicted to the ‘high’ of online flirting, boozy dates and passionate one-night stands. I’m a fit guy with a decent line in charm and flattery. I don’t have a problem attracting women to meet up with me. I simply post a few, suggestive shots online and have hungry (desperate) females eating out of my hand.

In the past year, I’ve been with younger and older females. I work out and keep abreast of music and current affairs, so I’ve always got something to say for myself. I pride myself on talking my conquests into bed.

Once there, I pull out all the stops with loads of flattery, oral sex, foreplay and orgasms. Women gush that I’m their perfect guy. I can see the admiration and hunger in their eyes. They want me full time, but I never stick around for a second date.

I keep a second mobile phone, which my wife knows nothing about.

The other day I skipped work. I had a lunchtime drink and a quick bonk in a cheap motel with one woman. Then I saw a different girl in the evening. We spent the night together (I told my wife I was working). Let’s just say that I didn’t get a wink of sleep… She was up for everything.

When I’m chatting up, snogging and screwing; I’m on fire. But then I have terrible moments. I wake up in a sweat; panicking about what I’ve done. I’m a real worrier and feel guilty about my actions, especially when my lovely wife tells me she adores me.

What’s going on? Why can’t I be content with what I have at home?

JANE SAYS: Dating apps were never designed to be used like a pic ‘n’ mix sweet counter or an all-you-can-eat-buffet. These are real people you’re meeting up with. Women with feelings and hopes. Women who have probably been very hurt and let down in the past.

You don’t need me to tell you that this madness must stop. It’s not fair on your wife; it’s not fair on the women who are looking for love and it’s not good for your mental or sexual health. I realise that the temptation to meet and bed just one more lover, must be tempting, but you’re not being true to anyone.

All you’re doing is lying to everyone (including yourself), using strangers for cheap sex and giving false hope, which is cruel. You’re too full of yourself – and your own sexual gratification and self-importance. You’re out of control. Yes, first date sex is hot and exciting, but this has all gone far enough.

I urge you to change your life today. Delete those dating apps and turn your life around. Be honest with your wife. Yes, there are going to be some furious rows, but she must know what has been going on so that she can see her GP and have her sexual health checked out. Whether she stays with you is up in the air, but I can’t feel any sympathy for your guilt when you’re playing so fast and loose. Do you need to discover why you indulge in such self-destructive behaviour?

Risky business

My lover and I are supposed to be getting a place together. Only he’s just announced that we’ll have to wait until July 2028 once his son has left school.

I feel so let down yet he’s still expecting lots of sex.

Last year he told me that he was looking for a flat for us. Now he’s finally admitted that ‘things are complicated’ at home.

Even when he does move in with me, he won’t be able to get divorced because his wife is fragile and he can’t risk upsetting his rich parents.

JANE SAYS: You’ve got to be strong and walk away, otherwise your heart will continue to be broken, and your self-esteem will be shattered. It’s very sad that you’ve spent so long waiting for this slug, but surely you can now see that he’s a liar and user.

He’s been stringing you along while lying and cheating on his wife. Why would you even want him?

Take what you’ve learnt with you into your next relationship. In other words; don’t get fooled again. Sadly, you’ve found out the hard way that starting a relationship with a married man isn’t a great move. Vow to emerge from this stronger and wiser. Tell yourself that you’re important and vital and that you’ll go on to love again. You owe it to yourself to take control.

Amandaland

My girlfriend’s pals are a bunch of bullies.

I loathe the way they call her silly names and put her down. Nothing she does is ever cool or trendy enough.

She says she doesn’t mind them ‘being playful’, because it’s been like this since school, but I mind very much. Anytime I stick up for her in social situations I get a dirty look. I’m told I’m ‘tricky’ and ‘difficult’.

I’ve clashed with the Queen Bee (think Amandaland) more than once, yet my girl won’t hear a word against any of them. What’s going on?

JANE SAYS: Can’t you look your girl in the eye and tell her that you love her and hate seeing her insulted and disrespected like this? You can see, as an outsider, that her friends’ actions aren’t clever or remotely funny.

Being in their company is embarrassing. She must realise that these aren’t the only people in the world and that she doesn’t have to hang around with them – there is life beyond the school playground and the local scene. Encourage her to branch out and start believing in herself, because you do. Sadly, if she can’t be persuaded to stand up for yourself, then can you continue to support and respect her?

Life raft

My oldest mate always says the wrong thing. She is socially inept and makes me cringe. I love her, but she can’t mix with other people. She’s too loud and crass.

She insists on coming out everywhere with me, but I’m afraid that people are starting to think that I’m a bit of a freak and weirdo (like her) too.

JANE SAYS: You’re entitled to socialise with anyone you like.

You may have certain loyalties towards your old friend, but you and she aren’t joined at the hip. Maybe the truth is that she’d benefit from professional help. Can she be encouraged to speak to her GP about her awkwardness and inability to fit in? I’m sure she’s acutely aware of her quirky personality so clings to you like a life raft.