‘We solely handle intercourse as soon as an evening – jealous mates slag me off for complaining’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
First world problems
I’ve got a hot partner, nice house and a decent salary. Sadly, my friends are jealous.
I’m constantly told that I’m lucky and it frustrates me that I’m never allowed to complain about anything. My partner has an important job yet if I dare to mention that he’s stressed, I’m accused of having ‘first world problems’.
My sister struggles with a blood sucking boyfriend, low funds and difficult children.
Recently I complained about my broken dishwasher – and the fact that my partner and I only manage to have sex once a night – and my closest friend accused me of being insensitive and self-obsessed.
How does that work? Surely I’m entitled to speak?
JANE SAYS: A lot of people around you resent your good fortune. Your sister is bitter whilst your friends are short.
Surely everyone’s allowed to vent once in a while? Maybe your problems aren’t world shattering, but you’re only human and you’re allowed to be angry and frustrated too. Perhaps you need to ask yourself what it is that you’re getting out of these mates, besides insults – and start surrounding yourself with more uplifting pals who actually enrich your life.
The fact is that no one knows what waits around the corner. If you DID find yourself in real trouble would any of these friends, actually be there for you, or will they always be too busy with their own troubles?
As for your sister; support and advise her if you want to, but her choices – especially regarding her lazy boyfriend – aren’t your problem.
Too many questions
My parents have rented a huge house for a family holiday next month. I’m dreading it and want to back out. The problem is that. I’ve been single for five years and everyone in my family, from my granny down to my youngest cousin, feels they’re entitled to quiz me on my love life. Am I weird? Too picky? Gay?
The questions and ‘advice’ will be endless.
I hate myself at the moment. My job is boring and I’ve got no decent clothes or confidence.
My Mum simply tells me to ‘cheer up’ because not everything is about me.
But how am I expected to survive this holiday from hell?
JANE SAYS: You cannot allow your mother, or anyone else, to bully or intimidate you. It sounds to me as if you’re in a very dark place right now. If work is bad, then how about retraining or looking for something completely new? If you’re unhappy or unwell, then speak to your GP.
Eating healthily, cutting down on booze and exercising will make you feel better too. Remember that you’re an adult and don’t have to attend anything.
I’m not suggesting you cut yourself off from your family, but they need to understand that they cross a line every time they pry. Time you started standing up for yourself and drawing boundary lines.
