‘He will get me to pleasure him – then scrubs himself pink uncooked within the bathe’

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

Red raw

My newish man and I have a very odd sex life.

I stay with him most weekends, but we’ve never had intercourse. He doesn’t like kissing or touching. All I’m permitted to do is pleasure him by hand.

Even then I’m instructed to twist my body in the opposite direction and not look him in the eye. He makes no sound as I go to work. He grunts at the point of orgasm before covering himself in a towel.

Then he spends 20 minutes in the shower scrubbing himself red raw. He never does anything sexual for me and I’m left feeling high and dry – yet is decent enough in normal life. What’s going on?

JANE SAYS : This arrangement sounds unsatisfactory on every level. Where is the warmth, the consideration or passionate love? In a very cold, mechanical way, your man dictates what he wants, but where is your pleasure?

You cannot allow him to use you. Talk to him away from the bedroom and explain that you’re not interested in going on like this. What is his problem with intimacy and mutually respectful and beneficial sex?

Can he loosen up and change?

Is he prepared to seek professional help or are you and he simply going through the motions?

I fear that resentment will build unless you sort this – or get out.

So long sucker

I took a fit guy on holiday and paid for everything. Now he’s ghosting me. He didn’t have to put his hand in his pocket once during our fortnight in Spain. I covered the accommodation, which included all food and drinks.

He stuffed his face from morning to midnight.

A couple of times I also treated him to jet ski and paragliding sessions. To be fair, he never promised to pay me back because I knew that he was broke.

But I certainly expected him to start a proper relationship with me on our return. Instead, he’s doing his own thing and I’m furious. How dare he be so ungrateful and greedy?

JANE SAYS: Sadly, it sounds as if you’ve been used up and spat out. You took this freeloading guy away for a gorgeous trip in the hope of a decent future together.

However, since landing, you’ve not seen him for dust.

No one would blame you for feeling disappointed and used.

I’m afraid you’ve got no option but to chalk this one down to experience. Sadly, he doesn’t have any love or respect for you. You need to learn that we can’t buy love.

I urge you to sort out your finances; focus on family and friends and never let this muppet, or anyone remotely like him, within 10 miles of your credit cards again.