‘I craved threesomes and intercourse events till my lover had a coronary heart assault at an orgy’
Dear Jane,
Adult parties
My new guy thinks that I’m innocent and sexually inexperienced. Do I have to tell him that I used to sell sex? I lived abroad as a younger woman. I worked as a dancer and escort. I earned a lot of money and scored a lot of expensive gifts. I had several rich admirers but one guy, in particular, looked after me.
I suppose you could call him a sugar daddy. He set me up in a gorgeous apartment and gave me an allowance for designer clothes and top end beauty treatments. He paid for meals in good restaurants we enjoyed some luxury holidays too.
His wife had no idea about me. He was into threesomes and he frequently held ‘adult parties’ for his friends where anything went… We eventually split when he had a heart attack at an orgy and went into a residential home…
I returned to the UK where I resumed my escort work for another year before retraining as a beauty therapist. I now run my own very successful clinic specialising in aesthetics. I met my current boyfriend at a party.
He’s talking about me meeting his folks at Christmas but, I fear that I’ll frighten him away if I tell him my truth. My other concern is that someone from my past will creep out of the woodwork and expose me. I really do like this guy and don’t want to screw this one up. How must I play this?
In my defence everything I did as a saucy, younger woman happened on my terms. I was never coerced, controlled or bullied. I take full responsibility for who I was and certainly aren’t ashamed of any of my actions.
But will my guy see things my way?
JANE SAYS: It’s sometimes said that the truth frees us. You may find that you experience relief from opening up. You admit that your craziest times took place a while ago when you were a very different person. You were wild and free and happy to push back boundaries.
Can you honestly see yourself being happy with your new guy long term, or will you eventually become frustrated and bored? Do you fear being judged and condemned?
Ultimately, if he truly loves you then he’ll accept and forgive you anything. It’s very possible that he has a few skeletons in the closet of his own.
How he reacts to your history is up to him. And for you and him – as a couple – to deal with. I suggest you have a long think and then speak openly and honestly to your man about your previous life.
Leave him in no doubt that you’re not necessarily the person he thinks you are. How economical you are with the truth is entirely between you and your conscience but do remember that inconvenient truths have a horrible habit of coming out in the end.
Does your guy deserve to hear about the sugar daddy? Do you need to explain about the escort work especially if you had sex with clients for money?
Obviously, everyone deserves a new start and if you feel you can trust this man, and that he’s mature and intelligent enough to understand your past, then do whatever you feel is appropriate and right.
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
