‘I bonked my colleague in automobile park after a piece social gathering – now everybody else needs a go’
Dear Jane,
My turn
I disgraced myself at a recent works party.
I drank too much and bonked a woman from head office in a car park. We’ve not spoken since.
But now, other female colleagues are coming on to me. I’m a single guy and they seem to think that I’m a gun for hire – that it’s their turn next. Several have said they expect ‘special treatment’ at the upcoming Christmas bash. This is very embarrassing and so not me.
There seems to be competition going on to see who can bed me next. Has the world gone crazy? How do I get everyone to back off and leave me alone?
JANE SAYS: Hold your head high and do not allow yourself to be intimidated.
Lusty opportunist colleagues are circling, but all need to be told to back off and leave you alone.
Admittedly, you crossed a line the night of your works party. We all make mistakes, but alcohol is no excuse, and you need to seek help if it’s a problem for you. Sadly, if the pests persist in hounding you, then speak to your HR department and/or other bosses in the building and make it clear that you’re being harassed.
Yes, you’ve been a fool for, which, you’re very sorry, but you will not stand for any form of pestering because this has all gone far enough.
Snubbed at the altar
My oldest friend is getting married on December 23rd and hasn’t invited me. There’s going to be a big church ceremony followed by a luxury meal in a top hotel, but I’m not on the list.
This is despite her paying a huge role in my 2024 wedding. She was my Maid of Honour. I paid for her dress, hair and make-up and gave her a gold bracelet.
I’ve been told (by someone else, not her) that her bash is going to be an intimate do, family only. But I consider myself family and know of other non-family invitees.
How dare she do this to me when we’re more like sisters?
JANE SAYS: I agree that it’s baffling that your friend hasn’t chosen to level with you, but you’re not her sister and people disappoint us all the time.
She and her spouse-to-be clearly wish to keep things simple so stop taking this personally, because it’s not about you. Back off, accept her position and leave her be. Retain your dignity and organise something else for that day.
Sadly, if you and she are drifting apart – and your relationship has run its course – then accept that not all friendships last forever. You friend can have any kind of wedding she wants.
Too close for comfort
My bloke spends too much time with his ex-wife, and I don’t like it. I understand that they need to make arrangements regarding their kids, but what about texting? Why do they have to meet and talk?
From attending family pizzas and parties, he acts like he’s still with her. I won’t have anything to do with the woman and don’t think he should either.
JANE SAYS: This sounds like a modern, mature arrangement. Your partner’s children are his priority and he’s clearly a good dad. Why are you so insecure and jealous?
He’s divorced from his ex-wife, why isn’t that good enough for you? Swallow your pride and join in with his family before you find yourself out in the cold.
Unfortunately, you come across as unreasonable and childish.
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
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