‘I can not get it up – girlfriend needs an open relationship so she will be able to bonk another person’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Make yourself scarce
My girl wants to move another guy into our flat. She thinks a more open relationship will do us good.
The guy she has in mind will help pay our bills – and save our flagging sex life. They work together and he’s willing to pay handsomely for our spare room.
She won’t sleep with him all night, but they will expect me to make myself scarce for a few hours most evenings so that they can relieve her sexual frustration. She has suggested I go round my brother’s place and play video games.
I don’t feel I have the power to say ‘no’. The problem is that I’ve lost my sex drive. I was made redundant a few months ago and my libido went out the window. I haven’t been able to satisfy her in bed since. I have no money and she’s keeping me.
JANE SAYS: I get the impression of someone who is champing at the bit to get her new horny lover in – and you out…
If your girl has met someone new; someone that she wants to bonk and build a relationship with, then why aren’t they looking for somewhere of their own?
I understand that you’re feeling vulnerable and powerless, but you’ve got to find the strength to stand up for yourself. Tell her ‘no’. This guy isn’t moving in and you’re not moving out.
Enlist the help of your friends and family. Make sure that you’re getting all the benefits you’re entitled to and speak to your GP about your impotence and general state of health.
Lack of understanding
I work from home, running a challenging business, but no one respects that it’s a full-time job. My parents and siblings frequently expect me to drop everything to help them. From taking my Mum to medical appointments to driving my siblings all over, I’m not taken seriously.
No one understands that I work to pay my bills – and many of theirs too. How do I get everyone around me to understand that I’m not Super Woman? It’s drives my husband wild that I’m so put upon.
JANE SAYS: You must start considering your marriage and your own health. Vow to delegate and learn how to say ‘no’.
It could be that you’ve been guilty of being too efficient and taken too much on your own shoulders. There’s no getting away from the fact working from home offers a degree of flexibility, but others don’t always take the role seriously. They think that you can dip in and out at will. Don’t take on any more than you can cope with.
Be clear with everyone about your commitments and limits. If constantly being interrupted; asked for money and being taken advantage of are issues for you, then set guidelines and start making some serious changes.
Falling star
My girlfriend loves to sing. She’s always thought that she’d be a star. Now it’s becoming glaringly obvious that she’s never going to ‘make it’. She’s become despondent and bitter. I love her for who she is but can’t live with the moods.
I feel she’s pulling me down.
JANE SAYS: Your girlfriend needs challenges, targets and busy days. Sadly, if she’s struggling to cope, then she must see her GP for help. It’s very hard – because your girl has a dream – but it’s vital to live in the moment and savour every day, and every blessing, we have.
You must consider your own happiness and wellbeing too. If this relationship is turning toxic, then reconsider it.
