‘My finest pal is homosexual and I’m fuming that she’s by no means tried to bonk me’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Mixed messages
I had no idea that my best mate fancied girls until I saw her kissing another woman in a club. She introduced me to her lover and said: “You’ve always known I’m gay, right?” I spluttered that I had no idea.
What about all those ex-boyfriends? That teenage wedding? She confessed that none of those were real. She’d only put on a show for her mother’s benefit. Now her mum has passed and my friend is out but I’m furious. Why did she never tell me the truth?
Why did she never try it on with ME?
JANE SAYS: It’s unfortunate that your friend never found the right time to speak to you. But if her mother was tricky, then you have to respect the fact that things were difficult at home. Are you jealous of your friend’s relationship with her new woman?
Keep talking to her. Let her know that you are still struggling to come to terms with her revelation and get her to reassure you that you love and respect her and still have an important place in her life.
As for feeling miffed that she never approached you for love; I suspect she’ll tell you that your friendship is very special and precious in itself.
Perhaps you’re simply not her (sexual) type.
The Joker
My brother can’t hold down a job and never has any money. Any time we walk into a bar together he simply stands there while I get the beers in.
My mates always insist he comes out with us because he’s a great laugh and a practical joker, but I’m becoming sick of his blood-sucking ways.
I work full time but I still struggle as I have a car and several credit card debts and loans. Just recently he’s started cadging off our two cousins too. We’ve all told him that he needs to get a job, but he just laughs at us.
JANE SAYS: Your brother is going to carry on cadging off you for as long as you let him.
Why don’t you, he and your cousins all get together and tackle this? Ask him about his confidence, his issues and his passions.
Work out the kind of work he could do. Check job websites and see if you know anyone who could give him work experience or a helping hand. Be proactive. If the truth is that he needs to get more qualifications or specialist training, then look into those options too.
Stop allowing your friends to push you around. It’s not for you to provide edgy entertainment for them. If they need a class clown to keep them smiling, then let them find someone else.
You also need to take your debts and loans seriously. You cannot allow yourself to fall even deeper into debt.
