‘Wild lover bonked me over kitchen desk and made me howl however he is not ok for me’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Very naughty
I’m bedding two very different guys – and can’t choose between them.
One is dirt poor and very naughty. The sexual heights he takes me too are off the scale.
The other guy is stinking rich but very dull. He’s below average between the sheets but very generous with his dosh. He treats me to fantastic dates. We go to top clubs and restaurants and showers me with gifts. I’m confused.
The other weekend I had my first ever multiple orgasm with my ‘poor’ lover.
Waves of ecstasy rippled through me as he had me over the kitchen table.
I feel truly alive when I’m in his arms. He’s handy and slick and knows all the right moves.
However, if I stick with my wealthy suitor, then I know I’ll have an amazing lifestyle. I’ll see the world and live in a fantastic home with all mod cons.
I’ve seen how his parents and sisters live – and I’m envious. I’ll I’d get the fairytale wedding and big house.
But would I always be yearning for better sex with my scruffy soul mate? The other night, during an evening of oysters and champagne in a top hotel, my rich lover announced that he would never forgive infidelity.
If he ever found out that I’d so much as kissed another guy, then he’d dump me on the spot.
Now I’m scared. Who do I pick when I don’t know what to do? I’m 27.
JANE SAYS: You’re young. There is still plenty of time to find ONE guy who ticks the boxes and is right for you.
Be brave and tell both guys that you need your own space to really think about the kind of life you wish to lead.
I’m not pretending that this will be easy; at the moment you’re being courted and adored by two men. They both bring something very different to the party and you’re the centre of attention.
But if you’re serious about finding Mr. Right, then you’ve got to be prepared to leave your comfort zone and see what’s out there. The alternative is opting for one of your two lovers and making compromises.
My gut feeling is that you’ll go with the money, because you’ll consider any future children and want every material advantage for them. But will you end up feeling sexually frustrated in later life and go on to have affairs? Will you and your rich guy fall out horribly over your cheating, which, he’ll inevitably find out about? It’s your life and it’s entirely up to you, but you need to start being honest and true. Give yourself all the time you need, because there really is no hurry.
Bore off
I hate myself for being two-faced.
I’m worshipped by a girl I grew up.
I’m her hero for making something of my life. She still lives in my old home town. Every time I go back to visit my folks, I bump into her. She throws her arms around me; she tells me that I’m looking great and then I’m stuck with her for hours. She tells me about her boring job. I’m encouraged to tell her about my ‘exciting’ one and then she insists on us going out. Saying ‘no’ is not an option.
Sadly, she and I no longer have anything in common and I constantly slag her off behind her back. I don’t like being this person, but she’s no longer anything to do with me.
JANE SAYS: If you feel that you’ve outgrown this old pal, then you’ve got to be honest and strong. Before you next visit home, get in contact with her and explain that you and your family have plans or you just fancy a quiet night. If she continues to impose herself on you, then you simply ask her to give you some space because you’ve had a busy week and need peace. Suggest a coffee in a couple of weeks instead. It would be a shame to fall out with her completely, because old friends are often the ones, we rely on the most – and come back to – when others let us down. But if you really can’t stand to spend another minute with her – and you feel a fraud for stringing her along – then maybe you need to start being honest because she really isn’t your responsibility.
Spill the beans
My late father-in-law was a horrible man. He was mean, vindictive and immoral. A trusted mate recently told me that he was a frequent customer at a notorious brothel in town. Dare I now tell my equally revolting mother-in-law that her dearly departed hubby was a scumbag?
She’s a vicious old boot who is only interested in my husband and our three children. She’s openly rude to my face and has never given me so much as a birthday card.
My mate reckons that my late father-in-law was notorious for paying for sex: the grubbier and more depraved the better. He paid over the odds for anything-goes-sex. Now, wouldn’t that be a nice tale to tell over Sunday lunch?
JANE SAYS: Surely, you’re better than this?
Your father-in-law is dead. He can no longer defend himself. For all you know, your gossipy friend could have an agenda or be speaking complete twaddle out of spit. Why would you wish to humiliate and embarrass your husband and children in this way?
For all you know, your mother-in-law might already be aware of certain rumours, that’s why she’s so tricky and defensive now. Why don’t you ask your husband to organise a meeting so that you can finally air your views and confront your mother-in-law with your gripes? She has to understand that this intolerable situation cannot go on. Also, concentrate on surrounding yourself with people who genuinely care about you.
Cloud cuckoo land
My girlfriend has never said ‘sorry’ for cheating on me. All she has said is: “I’m sorry you found out”, which is a totally different thing altogether. Don’t you agree? She claims that everyone cheats at some stage and that I have ‘unrealistic expectations’. Is that true? Am I living in cloud cuckoo land? Does everyone cheat?
JANE SAYS: In short, no. Not everyone cheats and your girlfriend can’t generalise in this way. If she isn’t sorry for hurting you and doesn’t understand why you feel so betrayed and upset, then she must be one, insensitive individual. Explain to her that you clearly have very different sets of values and standards and you can’t risk being let down again. Is she finally ready to apologise now or do you have to part?
