‘Nude raver who lives subsequent door desires to provide me seeing to – it is tempting’
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Water baby
The couple next door are a pair of ravers. They throw raucous parties and sunbathe nude.
They’re very welcoming but they make me feel inadequate as I’m sure they look down on my partner and me for being boring and beige.
More than once the wild wife has joked about me benefitting from a ‘good seeing to’. How should I respond? Dare I tip my toe in the water and see what I’m missing?
JANE SAYS: Stay true to yourself and don’t allow anyone to embarrass you or make you feel inferior.
Your free-spirited neighbours can do what they like, but you don’t have to justify your lifestyle choices.
Calmly explain to her that you’re happy to have fun and be friends but have your own set of morals and guidelines. Can she respect that? Hopefully she’ll apologise and you can start again on a new footing. There is no obligation to keep up with them or do whatever it is that they’re doing…
Doom and gloom
My mum never stops complaining about her health.
She’s not even 50 but is convinced she’s about to die.
She’s terrified of everything from a heart attack to cancer. I’d love to take her abroad for a fun holiday to cheer her up, but she won’t hear of it.
I visit most days and leave feeling upset and depressed. Her parting words usually include “This’ll be the last you see of me”. Miraculously, she’s always alive the next day… She has been told there is nothing wrong with her and the rest of the family are as bored and exasperated as I am. How do we get her to live?
JANE SAYS: Flying may be out of the question, but could you try getting her out more? Use your time together to go for a walk; have a cup of tea and a good chat. Encourage her to take some deep breaths and appreciate her blessings and surroundings. If that’s not an option, then can her GP refer her for therapy regarding her anxiety?
Work with your concerned family and see if you can distract your mum and pull together to make her days richer and more meaningful.
You also need to prioritise your own mental health and free time too, because she cannot be allowed to bring you down.
Knife edge
My girlfriend is wildly unpredictable.
One minute she’s funny and relaxed, the next she’s
screaming her head off. She goes from 0-60 in seconds.
Anything can annoy and set her off, a rude waiter, a coughing diner, an inconsiderate driver.
The other day we were in a bar and a girl accidently brushed past; my girl’s drink wobbled but didn’t spill yet she went ballistic.
Her violent reaction was completely out of proportion, and I felt shocked and embarrassed Her poor victim was terrified. Later my girl was still cursing her and refusing to back down. What is her problem?
JANE SAYS: She’s clearly a very troubled individual who can’t control herself and doesn’t know how to behave. She may consider herself a special case, but she’s a nasty piece of work. Any time she doesn’t get what she wants, she does something stupid. You need to tell her that she must sort herself out (anger management classes might be good idea) because something must change. Level with her; if she has a genuine gripe then let her spit it out.
But if she’s all about control, then you must consider your own emotional – and physical – wellbeing
I think you’d do yourself a big favour by editing this drama queen out of your life.
