If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Healthy distance
My new girlfriend says she’s happy with the life we have together. But she’s not willing to meet my family or any of my friends in case we split up and she gets hurt.
I’m always boasting to my mates and mum about how fantastic she is. Naturally they want to know when she’s going to pop over, but she refuses to play ball. She’s determined to protect herself by keeping things casual.
The problem is that she was super friendly with her ex-bloke’s parents and sisters. They used to socialise and go on big holidays together. Splitting up from them was more painful than dumping the bloke himself. This time around she’s vowing to keep her distance, but this is hurtful and embarrassing for me because my folks think that I’m ashamed of them.
I’m so proud to have her on my arm. All she wants to do is go to fashionable clubs where we dance and drink and then come back here for sex. I’d like her to attend my sister’s wedding in September as my ‘plus one’ but she backs off when I suggest anything too ‘couply’.
Another thing I don’t understand is her reluctance to talk about her family or childhood. Any time I quiz her about the past, she changes the subject.
I’ve never been in a relationship like this. When we’re together, we have a fantastic time; we get on really well and the sex is red hot. Friends tell me that I’m looking fit and alive.
What’s so wrong with getting everyone together and celebrating life and love?
JANE SAYS: Your girlfriend has been honest with you from the start. She has explained that breaking up with her ex was tricky and traumatic. She’d invested so much love and time in his family that losing contact with them was heartbreaking. It happens.
Why don’t you acknowledge that you understand where she’s coming from and offer to take things slowly? Take everything at a pace that suits her. Accept that your sister’s wedding might be too full-on and overwhelming.
You describe her as your new girlfriend, so there really is no rush to get to the next stage. Explain to your friends and family that no one is snubbing anyone else. All you’re doing is respecting her position and taking things one day at a time. The reality is that your crazy clubbing phase isn’t going to last forever. Someday soon you’ll start to settle down into a more regular pattern.
If, at that stage, she still displays no interest mixing with those you hold dear then take a deep breath and explain that you’re a friendly, sociable guy who enjoys a wide circle of mates. Ask her to meet you halfway.
I have to confess that I do worry about an individual who won’t tell you anything about her past. Could it be that this lady has something to hide?
Is she ashamed of you or afraid of commitment? Beg her to open up so that you know where you stand. However, if she still refuses to come clean about herself, or you get the impression that you’re nothing more than a stopgap, then find the courage to move on.
The sex may be great, but you must be honest about the kind of relationship you’re looking for.
Bragging rights
My girlfriend rubs my nose in it every time she flashes the cash. She currently earns a lot more than I do and never stops going on about it. For years I paid for every meal, holiday and treat and never said a word.
Sadly, I was made redundant in September 2025 and now earn a basic wage working for a mate.
But I do pay my share of the rent and utilities. It’s hardly as if she’s carrying me; it’s just that I don’t have spare cash for treats.
Recently we were out with friends who asked us about our holiday plans. My girl deliberately made a big deal of boasting about the great hotel she’s booked and paid for. I was left looking like a loser.
JANE SAYS: Good for her for earning a decent wage, but your girl needs to understand that you are not in competition.
If she loves you, then you’re in this together. She’s up at the moment, but who knows what waits around the corner? Next week, you could land a dream job and start out-earning her again.
Tell her that you’d like an honest heart-to-heart. Explain that you refuse to be humiliated and put down. If she has a problem with the way things are panning out, then she needs to speak up. Otherwise, she must start showing some kindness and respect.
Fair weather friend
My oldest friend only calls me when she’s bored. She’s with a new man now and she only remembers me when he’s out with his mates or away on business.
I’m second best. The other week, I was feeling low. My ex-boyfriend was being horrible (he still owes me £600) and I needed a shoulder to cry on. Yet my mate wouldn’t agree to meet me. Yet, two days later her bloke was called away by his boss, and she was straight on the phone to me suggesting a big night out. Like a fool I went, only to regret it when all she talked about was him.
JANE SAYS: You’re clinging onto the memory of a friendship. You and your pal used to be close but, she’s got a new guy in her life and isn’t interested in you. You can’t allow her to use you. I strongly suggest that you widen your social circle. Force yourself to find new friends who want to spend time with you. I’m not suggesting that you actively fall out with your mate, but I suspect that if you stop making the effort to contact her, then you and she will naturally drift apart. Sad, but that’s the way it sometimes goes.
Snappy dresser
I like natural looking girls.
I loathe flashy clothes and heavy make-up. When my girl and I first got together she was understated. Now she’s brassy and over the top. She says that I’ve given her confidence. But it’s all too much for me. I liked her better before when she was unassuming and modest. Should I say something?
JANE SAYS: Your girl is an individual and if she feels stronger and happier dressing in her new style, then that’s up to her. She’s not your project or your possession. As you’re both getting older and more mature, your true likes and dislikes, and personalities are coming out. Maybe you must accept that you and she are no longer in tune and need to go your separate ways?