If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Easy rider
A neighbour is pregnant. She’s telling everyone that my boyfriend is the father. He swears that he has never had sex with her. He wouldn’t touch her with a barge pole.
She and I fell out spectacularly back in January after some money went missing from my house. I accused her of letting herself in and stealing it. She protested her innocence. She’s now saying that she had sex with my bloke the next month – out of revenge – while I was on a work trip. She crows that her unborn child will look just like him. He’s told me to ignore her. He believes that she’s a fantasist who is jealous of what we’ve got. But I’m going crazy here.
The other night my best friend asked me outright if there might be some truth in the rumours. I accused her of being disloyal and disrespectful.
She knows my guy. She’s seen how genuine and kind he is and how much he loves me. Yet even she’s insulting me with this rubbish. Suddenly I don’t know where to turn to next.
My fella and I have been together for five years. I’m not pretending that it’s always been an easy ride.
We’ve had problems over the years what with his drinking and my money issues. I know that I can lose my temper and kick off when I feel under pressure.
I accept that I can be unreasonable, but I’m under the doctor and working on my bad points. I’m in no doubt that this woman IS pregnant, because she sleeps around.
She also knows that I’m desperate to have a child of my own. She’s tormenting me. Why would she say such a wicked thing?
JANE SAYS: You bit your friend’s head off when she tried to level with you, but could it be that she is aware of a lot more detail than she is letting on? That conversation could have been her way of gently trying to put you in the picture. All I’m saying is that you need to keep an open mind. Gather the facts, speak to everyone you trust and then go back to your boyfriend again for another conversation.
Would it be possible for you, your fella and your pregnant neighbour to all get together to clear the air? Suggest a neutral location and promise not to shout or lose your temper.
If she really has been intimate with your man, then you can all talk about that. She can give you the time, date and details – and he can defend himself.
I strongly suggest you swallow your pride (and hide your hurt) and simply ask her to give you chapter and verse. If he or she refuses to attend, then maybe alarm bells will ring… Of course you love your guy, but you can’t be blinkered.
Everything will come out, anyway, when the baby is born. Presumably a DNA test will be organised, and folk will finally know where they stand – especially you. In the meantime, keep off social media if it’s upsetting you. Take care of yourself. Is it a good idea to stay with your boyfriend?
Do you and he need to take a sexual health test?
Acting up
I’ve never seen my new partner without any clothes on. I’m not allowed to touch any part of his naked body. We only have sex in the rear entry position (doggy style) with all the lights out. He likes me to get into bed first, while he’s in the bathroom, then he then he joins me ‘for the act’. I find this most weird.
JANE SAYS: You describe your partner as ‘new’ so, presumably, you’re currently being accommodating and polite.
But I predict that you’re going to tire of this bedtime performance very soon. He must understand that this experience is unsatisfying and weird. Insist on a talk in the daytime and finally find out where he’s coming from.
Don’t sell yourself short if this relationship isn’t doing it for you.