If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Dirty tricks
My boyfriend is generous and pays his way, but he never misses an opportunity to have sex – no matter how inconvenient or inappropriate it might be for me. Often, I’m all ready to go to work and he’ll ambush me at the front door.
The resulting sex leaving me dishevelled and late. More than once I’ve left the house with my make-up all over my face looking like The Joker.
Usually, he’ll insist on full sex before I meet my friends – just so I’m not tempted to flirt with other guys. He likes to leave his mark and his scent…
I’m delighted that he finds me so irresistible. But my sister has suggested that this is his way of controlling me. She feels that he deliberately “has to have me” in order to mark his territory.
Can this be true?
JANE SAYS: No one said that sex had to be confined to the bedroom. Impulsive passion can be exciting.
But if you suspect that your boyfriend is using spontaneous sex in a deliberate attempt to restrain you then you’ve got to talk.
He must understand that ‘no’ always means ‘no’ and that sometimes sex is not appropriate.
Insist that he starts seeing things from your point of view, but if he can’t – or won’t, then maybe he’s not the ‘lovely chap’ you think he is. Lay down some ground rules regarding respect.
Make it clear that everything must change if you’re to contemplate a future together.
Personally, he sounds like an oaf who needs to be shown the door.
Considerably richer than you
Friends and neighbours are shunning us because we’ve become too successful. They’re jealous of our dosh. In the past few years, we’ve both been given pay rises and bonuses.
We’ve had an extension build and our whole house refurbished. We’ve taken some fabulous holidays and invested in wonderful cars. How is any of that such a crime?
It’s my birthday in September. The other day I put out a ‘save the date’ text in advance of a champagne barbecue and every single person has buzzed back claiming they’re busy.
I think they’re being pathetic. Don’t you?
JANE SAYS: Is it possible that you have been guilty of flaunting your wealth and showing off?
Was your building work messy and noisy? Did it inconvenience or upset those closest to you? You accuse your neighbours and friends of being small-minded and jealous but maybe you have taken your eyes off the ball. Think about it.
Are apologies or bunches of flowers in order?
Don’t start a row or deliberately fall out with folk but do check your behaviour. Be the bigger person. Get on with your life with dignity and concentrate on the good relationships you have with your family members instead.
Hopefully, in time, relations with friends and neighbours will thaw – especially if new people move in.