‘Husband had a foursome with three prostitutes on his stag do – I’m humiliated’
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Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
He didn’t enjoy it
I’ve just discovered that my husband had a foursome with three prostitutes on his stag weekend.
It was a ‘treat’ organised by his five best pals. I feel totally humiliated. Do I walk away from my year-old marriage? Or do I stay and start again?
The only reason I know the truth now is because the ex-girlfriend of one of his mates told me in a pub. She was disgusted with the lot of them and thought I had a right to the truth. My husband claims he regrets everything. He says he didn’t enjoy the foursome and only went through with it because he was drunk and his mates would have called him a wimp if he’d backed out. He’s riddled with guilt and wants me to put this behind us.
I don’t know what to do for the best. I do still love him, but who is he?
JANE SAYS: I suspect you feel like you’ve been slapped in the face by several wet fish…
Twelve months into a marriage and, sadly, he’s not the man any of you thought he was. The problem is that you started married life on a lie. Just a few days before your wedding he was romping with three other women. Drink is never an excuse for bad behaviour. Why didn’t he tell you the truth himself? Why did you have to find out from someone else? Only you can decide where to go from here. Give yourself all the time you need and don’t worry about what other people might think or say.
Bare faced cheek
I’m sick of people taking advantage of me.
My mate’s partner dumped her last August. I gave her money and a room in my house. I sat with her for hours while she wept. Now she’s gone back to him and is refusing to take my calls. I’m being treated like the enemy even though I put myself out for her.
Now a cousin has asked if she can store the contents of her flat in my spare room and garage while she goes travelling. What gets me is that she hasn’t even asked if I’d like to join her.
JANE SAYS: Don’t allow yourself to become bitter or angry. If you’re uncomfortable about looking after someone else’s stuff, then simply say “Sorry. No.”
End of. Don’t even come up with an elaborate excuse.
As for your other friend, you just need to accept that she’s made her decision and gone back to her ex – for whatever reason.
Sadly, it’s a fact of life that we should never expect gratitude or thanks for our efforts – because they very rarely come. In future, I suggest, you only help folk if you want to, if it gives you a feeling of personal satisfaction.
No funny business
A friend male friend has asked me to marry him – to please his parents. He says we won’t have to sleep together. We can divorce after five years, and he’ll give me a shed load of money. I’m single and broke and could do with some good luck.
Could this work?
JANE SAYS: You’re talking about going into a business arrangement with a man and lying to a huge number of people.
I’m sure the idea of security with a cash payment at the end is very enticing, but is this deal really going to make you happy? Isn’t it all rather hard, cold and calculated? You must do whatever you feel is right; but I’d advise you to think long and hard about the complications and possible consequences.
