‘Mate’s impolite fella brags of edgy threesomes in public – she deserves higher’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who winces every time her friend’s oafish partner opens his big, fat mouth

Dear Jane: My friend’s new fella is vile. Any time I try and speak to him he’s blunt and rude in return. Recently he attempted to humiliate my sister at a party by pointing out she had spots on her chin.

But that’s nothing compared to the way he openly speaks to my friend, his lover. More than once I’ve heard him hiss that she’s lucky to have him.

He brags about their ‘edgy’ sex life in public. Recently he got very drunk and recounted a threesome they’d recently ‘enjoyed’ with a stranger. My poor friend was mortified and I stormed out in disgust.

I dread to think what else goes on behind closed doors. She insists that he’s ‘misunderstood’, but I can see the light going out in her eyes.

How do we save her?

JANE SAYS: Beg her to wake up and see him for what he really is. A scumbag.

However, if she’s in the throes of passion and lust, then she may not be willing or able to accept this.

If he is controlling, then he may persuade her to dump the lot of you. Make it clear to her that you’ll always be there for her.

Can you give her the number for the National Domestic Violence Helpline (0808 2000 247) and encourage her to speak to an advisor regarding her situation?

She must know that she is not alone and that there are people out there who can help and support her. Starting with you and your sister.

One track mind

How do I track down the love of my life? I miss her so much. It’s only now, five years after our split, that I realise that she was ‘the one’.

She’s moved on from her old address, and no one can tell me where she is now. We lost touch after a series of stupid rows. I don’t know what to do next.

JANE SAYS: Don’t waste your life looking back through rose tinted glasses; vow to move forward and remind yourself why you broke up in the first place.

If you’ve asked around amongst old friends and still drawn a blank, then accept that your ex-girlfriend has a new life now and doesn’t wish to be found. Maybe those ‘stupid rows’ hurt and upset her more than you care to admit…

Stuck record

My partner and I have been together for six years and love each other. But I’m sick of people asking when we’re going to get married.

More than once my Mum has accused me of embarrassing her – and driving her towards and early grave – by ‘living in sin’.

Recently, a nosy family friend asked if my guy and I still have sex. She told me that I’m not getting any younger if I want to have children (I’m 36). Then she suggested that my man doesn’t really respect me and only ‘strings me along’ to look respectable. How dare people come up with this kind of bilge?

JANE SAYS: The next time your mum attempts to bully or shame you, tell her that you’re happy as you are.

Remind her that you don’t pry into her private life or suggest how she should live.

Of course, you understand that she loves you and has your best interests at heart, but you are quite capable of making up your own mind. Please can she, and everyone else in the family, respect your position and stop piling on the pressure because it’s tedious and boring?

As for your appalling family friend, is she prepared to apologise or promise to keep her toxic opinions to herself in future? You and your guy are entitled to conduct your relationship on your own terms.

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.