‘Kinky boyfriend is into excessive intercourse toys and function enjoying – I lie again and consider England’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Thin pickings
I’m seeing a man who is only interested in sex.
He isn’t concerned with my feelings or thoughts. He couldn’t care less if I said I wanted to paint my face blue and run round the block naked.
We go out a couple of times a week and I insist on paying my way. But all he really wants is for me to hurry up – finish my food and drink – so that we can get back to his place and down to business.
I don’t fancy him and don’t like his kinky tastes – role playing, weird positions, extreme sex toys etc. I’d be much happier if we simply went for a drink and finished with a peck on the cheek, but he feels entitled to sex in return for his company. I’m afraid that I grit my teeth and think of England most of the time we’re in bed together.
Friends ask why I bother seeing him, but I live in a small town and its thin pickings out there. If I didn’t date him then I’d be on my own. How do I make him more interested in me as a person?
JANE SAYS: I don’t understand why you’re hanging out with a man you neither fancy nor respect. You sound like you’re using each other. Surely you deserve better, more fulfilling sex and love?
If you and this chap have got yourselves into a rut, then you must take the upper hand and get out of it. Be adult and level with him. He needs to know where he stands. He must hear that you don’t enjoy your dates together for whatever reasons. You’ve to be true to yourself. He’s not the only person in the world.
What about spreading your net wider and finding someone new who ticks more of your boxes?
Past life
I used to be great pals with a girl at work. I was moved to a different department with a promotion after Christmas. Now, every time I bump into her now, she’s sarcastic and rude. She makes nasty comments about my upcoming September wedding. I understand that she’s bitter after her 2023 divorce, but how is that my problem?
Recently, in the pub, she was vile to my face. I tried to reason her, but she got very angry and walked away. What’s her problem?
JANE SAYS: You need to accept that this woman is no longer interested in being friendly with you. She’s moved on. If she’s been through the mill with a divorce and other, possible, upheavals, then she might resent your promotion, upcoming marriage and general air of cheeriness.
Sadly, your good fortune seems to annoy her, so get on with your work on concentrate on those who do value you. Few professional friendships go on forever.
She’s a colleague in a different department, so treat her with respect but keep your distance and rise above this situation. Sadly, if she starts to make you uncomfortable at work, then you may be inclined to speak to HR. Hopefully it won’t come to that.
Not up to scratch
My partner is angry that I haven’t provided the lifestyle or the sex life she expected. She’s becoming increasingly bitter. She is exceptionally beautiful and has always made it clear that I am lucky to have her.
Sadly, my career hasn’t worked out as I’d hoped. I don’t know if I can face another year of her put downs.
JANE SAYS: If your partner doesn’t believe that you’re good enough for her, then why does she stick around? What is she doing about improving your quality of life together?
Tell her that you refuse to live the rest of your days apologising. Insist that you work together in achieving a better future. Put your heads together. Where are you going wrong and what can be improved?
Ultimately, you are her equal in every way, and you must never forget that.
