‘I need to lick and suck my girlfriend’s attractive toes however she simply calls me a perv’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Kinky boots
I’ve got a thing about feet. I love the shape of a curved arch, and I could lick and suck pretty toes all day long. My ex-girlfriend used to love to wear high shoes in the bedroom. She understood my kink. She’d strip naked and stomp around in just her bright red stilettos. She’d tease and taunt me until I was gagging for passion.
It was such a turn on and the resulting sex was electric. We only stopped playing ‘Kinky boots’ when she got the job-of-a-lifetime in LA and left town. I’m with an attractive new girl now. She is successful and clever only she refuses to play the shoe game. She calls me a pervert when I suggest it. I buy her gorgeous, high-heeled courts only she won’t wear them. What’s wrong with sexy trotters?
JANE SAYS: There’s nothing wrong with fun in the bedroom, but this new girlfriend is definitely wrong for you if you and her can’t agree on particular sex games.
Clearly you and your ex-lover shared similar tastes, but we’re all different and is this new lady isn’t turned on by the same kinks as you then I suggest you find someone new who is. There’s no use in trying to force something that simply isn’t working.
Your new girl is entitled to speak her mind, and you’re entitled to find whatever gets you through the night. Level with her about your thoughts and needs.
My big mouth
I confessed to my girl that I have money problems and now I can’t get hold of her. I shot myself in the foot by being too honest.
We went to a bar on our fourth date, and I stupidly had too much to drink. My mouth ran away with me, and I confessed that I’ve never been good with cash and have serious debts. She seemed genuinely interested, so I talked about my personal loans and maxed-out credit cards.
I reassured her that I’m employed, but bogged down by bills. I dropped her home and she agreed to see me again. Only she’s gone to ground. I need her to give me a second chance. Why on earth did I ever tell the truth?
JANE SAYS: You have no choice but to let this girl go and start again. The reality is that debt isn’t desirable or sexy.
Research has found that debt is a big turn-off for those choosing a new partner. It features above unattractiveness and poor sense of humour. I suspect you frightened the life out the poor woman and she immediately viewed you as a liability; someone who might ask for a loan in future.
I’m not suggesting you lie to the next girl you meet, but do you really need to tell anyone about your personal finances? Quietly work hard and get on with the business of turning your fortunes around. Is there any extra work you could do to clear the debt faster?
Check out www.nationaldebtline.org for debt and budgeting advice.
Ungrateful sneak
I always invite my friend to family parties and special occasions. We have a place by the sea, and she’s enjoyed several (free) holidays there too. Now a relative has warned me that she constantly slags me off behind my back.
Apparently, she calls me grand and smug and feels I’m condescending towards her. I’m so upset when all I’ve tried to do is be inclusive and nice.
JANE SAYS: You need to get your friend on her own to establish the truth. It could be that you’re receiving mixed messages, so you need to establish the truth. Does this friend resent you and feel you patronise her?
Does she wish to continue being part of your circle? Or would she rather go her own way? In short, you and she need to decide whether she’s in or out and whether this is the end of the line.
Last chance
My friends say that my boyfriend no longer respects me because I’ve given him too many ‘last chances’. It’s true that in the five years we’ve been together I’ve forgiven an affair, a couple of one-night stands and various financial let downs.
The problem is that I always take him back because I love him and fear being on my own again. At the moment I’m confused because he upset me very badly on my birthday. He was due to attend my party in a pub and simply didn’t turn up. Instead, he went out drinking with his friends.
How many final warnings does he deserve?
JANE SAYS: Your boyfriend realises that he can get away with anything because you never follow through. Time after time, he lets himself – and you down – and you simply turn the other cheek.
Sadly, he now views you as a pushover; someone who isn’t as good as her word. What does he have to do to experience your wrath? Surely you are worth so much more than this sorry situation? The man continually cheats and rips you off. How can being on your own be any worse that finally reclaiming your dignity?
Ditch him today and start the fight back to self-respect.
