‘Horny bloke as soon as begged for intercourse in a hospital rest room – now he will not contact me’

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

So horny he nearly burst

I’m terrified that my bloke is sleeping with his ex.

They split in 2023 after many years together. She moved out to Australia for work. Now I hear she’s back and I fear she’s seduced him.

He swears that there’s nothing between them, but he keeps disappearing and I feel threatened and alone. The other week he stood me up. We were due to attend a party at my Mum’s place, but he didn’t show.

He wouldn’t answer his phone and none of his mates could tell me where he was. I was beside myself.

Eventually he staggered home a couple of days later claiming that he’d been forced to travel to Edinburgh for a big meeting with his boss. I told him not to treat me like an idiot and he stormed off again.

What also worries me is that he’s gone off sex with me. Usually, he’s as horny as an old goat, but half a dozen times recently I’ve suggested an early night and he’s turned me down. The most recent time he claimed to be ‘too tired’. Give me strength. This from a guy who once suggested we shag in a hospital toilet just after he’d had his appendix out. He was so horny he nearly burst his stitches.

If he’s not getting his kicks from me, then where is he getting them?

His ex is a glamorous high-flyer, and I feel like a frump in her shadow. I’m not a flashy or confrontational person and I don’t like conflict. What I want is for my partner to realise that he’s being unkind to me and to stop messing about.

How do I make that happen without him taking offense and leaving me high and dry?

JANE SAYS: There’s no denying that your boyfriend is acting strangely at the moment.

His ex is back in town, and she sounds like a tour-de-force. Clearly, she’s a very confident woman with a certain allure. If your man is still under her spell – and is sleeping with her behind your back – then he needs to start sorting himself out.

He needs to be reminded of where his loyalties lie. You need to tell him that you still exist and that he’s being very rude and disrespectful.

How would he like it if the boot was on the other foot and you were spending hours away from home without a proper explanation or reason? He and his split up in 2023 because she was offered a wonderful job in Oz. If she hadn’t relocated, then would they still be together? Do they have unfinished business?

Remind him that you’re a couple and that you don’t appreciate being brushed aside or abandoned.

What is the truth? What is he doing behind your back? Ultimately you must consider your sexual and emotional health.

Sadly, if he refuses to come clean and continues to wind you up and hurt your feelings, then you’ll have to decide how much more you’re willing to take.

I don’t think this is about you not being as good as her, because that’s nonsense. This is about you knowing your own self-worth and not allowing anyone to play games or walk all over you. Don’t bury your head in the sand. Trust your gut.

No future

A neighbour has become obsessed with me. I can’t cough without her popping in and asking me if I’m okay.

She hangs around my front garden and I’m beginning to feel overwhelmed.

She and I had a one-night stand about three months ago. We got drunk, ended up at her place and had sex. It was great at the time, but nothing more than that. Now she keeps banging on about our next ‘mad night’. She says she’d love to get a date in the diary, but I’m not interested. Help.

JANE SAYS: I urge you to speak to your anxious neighbour face-to-face. Explain that you thoroughly enjoyed your special night together, but it was very much a one off.

Apologise if you gave her the wrong impression; if she thought it was going to lead to a meaningful relationship.

The truth is that not everyone can cope with sex without emotion.

In short, you need to ensure, as gently as possible, that there is no further confusion and there are no crossed wires.

Be friendly and civil in the street but make it clear that you are a person who likes to do his own thing. Sadly, if she reacts badly or starts to make life difficult for you, then you’ll have to consider escalating things with the police. Hopefully it won’t come to that.

Bone idle

My girl has no work ethic. She has not worked a single day or paid a single bill since we moved in together.

She spends all day chatting to friends and family.

When I ask her to get a job, she says there’s nothing out there for her. I earn a decent salary, but I have to work my socks off to keep a roof over our heads.

It’s not as if we even have children or pets, she’s simply bone idle and completely self-obsessed.

JANE SAYS: Could it be that your girlfriend has lost her professional confidence? If she’s been out of the workplace for a while, perhaps she can’t imagine who would employ her again. Give her the benefit of the doubt by suggesting retraining and help her to find suitable courses.

However, if the real problem is that she’s not willing to do any kind of work, then you really need to get to the bottom of this. Ask about her ambitions, her dreams and her long terms plans. Sadly, if she doesn’t really have any, and you struggle to respect that, then does this relationship have legs?

I fear that your resentment towards her is going to build the more she takes and the less she gives.

She’s too good for me

Too many other guys fancy my fit girlfriend.

We’re due to move in together soon, but I feel insecure because she’s so popular. She only has to chat to a guy and he asks her out. I’m becoming increasingly paranoid and jealous even though she’s never done anything to make me doubt her.

JANE SAYS: I worry that you’re going to kill this relationship stone dead with your insecurities and doubts. I hate the idea of you spoiling what should be a fantastic period of your life. Embrace and appreciate her.

Remember that she is choosing to move in with you; so, rise to the occasion and be such a great boyfriend that she won’t ever want anyone else. If you don’t get yourself in check, then I fear you’ll be the loser.