‘He loves me to stroll throughout him however the guilt about my affair is consuming me up’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Saucy text
I’m having a dangerous affair with my partner’s best mate. I know what I’m doing is wrong. I’m a cheat and a liar, but being with this hunk is sooo good.
We’ve been intimate for over year now.
He first started offering me lifts into work when I landed a new job. He explained that he drove right past my new office block. I agreed to give him money towards his petrol, and he started picking me up and dropping me home.
I first realised that I fancied him when my partner got injured at football. His mate drove me home from the hospital. We chatted and flirted so easily together that the time flew by. That night he sent me a saucy text that set my heart on fire. Now we’re sleeping together several times a week. He has access to an empty flat that we use whenever we feel horny.
From snatched lunch times to quickies after work, it’s our little love nest.
We get up to all sorts when we’re in there. We can’t get our clothes off fast enough.
We’re so hot for each other that an hour is never enough and we live for the time we’re back in each other’s arms again. He loves it when I wear black, frilly undies and high heels and walk all over him.
Our precious moments are so different to what I have at home. My partner is so wrapped up with his business and hobbies that he barely even notices me.
My lover’s wife is only interested in how much money he earns. Of course I hate lying to my partner; as far as he’s concerned, I have late night meetings. But if I didn’t have my lover then I wouldn’t be able to cope with my highly stressful job. He is the only one keeping me sane. The life would be intolerable without him in it.
JANE SAYS: You do know you’re going to get caught, don’t you?
You do know that this sordid house of cards is going to come crashing down some time very soon?
You and your lover are playing a very silly game and being unfair on those left at home.
While your partner thinks you’re in late night meetings at work, you’re having sex with a lover. Then you get home very late; you sleep and; then it all starts all over again.
Surely this is no way to live your life? Yes, of course you have bills to pay, but can’t you find another approach? It doesn’t sound as if you ever see your man during the week.
What chance has your relationship got when you’re never at home? I urge you to stop and take stock. End the affair and start being honest with your partner about your life and the stresses you’re under. Is this new job right for you? Is it good for your mental health?
If you and your partner aren’t suited and don’t make each other happy, then do you have a future together?
As for your lover, he needs to stop acting like a fool.
His wife deserves so much more than this.
Obviously, you are your own person and make your own choices, but I must question if your lover might have targeted you and orchestrated this whole thing with the initial offer of lifts to and from work. Just a thought…
Have you been manipulated or groomed?
Past it
My family are furious that I’ve found love. My parents are accusing me of being ridiculous while my 18-year-old daughter has branded me selfish. They all think I’m past it. All they want from me for is my time, energy and money. My daughter says that if I marry my man, then she’ll never speak to me again.
JANE SAYS: Your family have been used to having you all to themselves and distrust change. But you’re entitled to your own life too.
Clearly, you’ve made sacrifices. Be strong and tell everyone to show some respect. You’ve supported them in the past, now the least they can do is be happy for you.
I fear that unless you make a stand then they’ll continue to walk all over you.
