‘My situation means intercourse looks like being torn open and it is heartbreaking’

Jasmin Masterson, 32, said not being able to sexually connect with her new husband had left her ‘angry’ at her own body

A newlywed says sex feels as though she is being “torn open”, leaving her “heartbroken” at being unable to sexually “connect” with her husband and feeling “angry” at her body. Jasmin Masterson, 32, first experienced “severe pain” during a smear test in February 2026, before suffering “unbearable” pain when she and her husband, Luke, 34, tried penetrative sex for the first time after getting married in April.

Jasmin said she was diagnosed with vaginismus, a condition where the vagina suddenly tightens when anything is inserted into it, the following month. But Jasmin said she felt dismissed at her GP appointment, after being directed to the NHS website and told therapy could have a waiting list of up to a year.

After moving from Northamptonshire to Carmarthenshire, south-west Wales, in May, she had to be re-referred for therapy and began using vaginal dilators herself, but said she has made little progress and lacks guidance. The NHS lists psychosexual therapy, relaxation techniques, pelvic floor exercises, sensate focus and vaginal trainers as treatment options.

But Jasmin is instead fundraising for private, Christian-led treatment as her faith is “very important” to her. The treatment will involve physical exercises, mental “reshaping” and support for her and her partner.

Jasmin, who owns an art business with her husband, said: “I feel really isolated because you feel like everyone else seems to be getting on with things. It makes me think there’s something wrong with me and I’m the only one with issues.”

In February 2026, while living in Northamptonshire, Jasmin had her first smear test, having been “too nervous” to have one for years.

“I found it so painful we had to stop and they couldn’t finish it,” she explained. “The pain didn’t go away and the weekend after that I actually collapsed at home.”

When she and her fiance tried penetrative sex for the first time, after getting married in April, she said the pain became “unbearable”.

Jasmin said: “We decided we wanted to wait until we were married to have sex and I had never had it before. It felt like I was being torn open and it was just so painful, it’s hard to describe, and it hurts for at least a week after.”

Jasmin said she cannot help but “feel guilty” about the situation and also felt “angry” at her body.

She added: “I feel like I’ve been sold this lie that sex should be this amazing thing and it’s just not for me. You’re like, ‘is my body broken? What’s wrong with me?’

“It’s just like a whirlwind of emotions. My husband is really supportive, but it affects both of us because we haven’t been able to have that type of connection that you’re meant to have.”

Initially, Jasmin thought she was “just experiencing anxiety” because she “was a virgin”, but the pain continued every time they tried to have sex. She visited her GP surgery, which she does not wish to name, in May and explained her symptoms and was diagnosed with vaginismus. The diagnosis “did not come as a shock” as Jasmin had already researched her symptoms, but she had hoped to receive more support.

She explained: “The GP just told me to go on the NHS website and get information on it there. I just thought, ‘is that it, is that the appointment? Are they going to actually do anything to help me?’

“I felt like I was being dismissed, and I asked if there was any therapy, and she said she could refer me to psychosexual therapy, but I felt like I had to push for it.”

According to the NHS, psychosexual therapy is a type of talking therapy that aims to help people understand and change their feelings about their body and sex. Jasmin said she was told the waiting list for therapy could be as long as a year.

The process was prolonged further when she moved to Carmarthenshire in May and had to be re-referred, leaving her facing another one-year wait. She then decided to research her condition further through online forums and began using dilators – smooth, graduated tube-like devices designed to gradually stretch and relax the muscles and tissues of the vagina. She said she has not made “much progress”.

“I don’t even know if I’m using them in the right way, and just feel like I need some more information, but the NHS aren’t really giving me it,” Jasmin said. She added that she would also like guidance from a therapist who can offer a Christian perspective.

Jasmin has since found an online, Christian-led vaginismus therapy programme and is fundraising to pay for it, estimating it will cost “a few thousand” pounds. She said it involves physical and mental exercises and partner support.

“For me, God is the core of everything I do, and I want to ask about biblical teachings and have that as part of it,” she said. The NHS advises people experiencing symptoms of vaginismus to speak to their GP or go to a sexual health clinic.

Andrew Carruthers, chief operating officer at Hywel Dda University Health Board, said: “We do not comment on individual cases, as we need to ensure the privacy of our patients. However, we are always sorry to hear that a patient is not satisfied with the experiences they have received while in our care.

“We are currently experiencing staff sickness within the psychosexual service, which has resulted in some clinics being cancelled and appointments needing to be rescheduled. This has had a direct impact on service capacity and waiting times.

“We are committed to driving down waiting times and ensuring everyone in the Hywel Dda area has fair and timely access to treatment. We know we have more work to do, but are working hard to ensure people can access the care they need much sooner.

“If anybody has any concerns about their treatment, we would encourage them to contact our patient support team on 0300 0200 159 or by email at: [email protected].”

A spokesperson for the Welsh Government said: “We recognise waiting lists for mental health support are unacceptably high, which is why reducing waits is one of our top priorities as a new Government. All health boards offer specialist psychological therapies to support people with a range of mental health issues, but we need to continue to improve timely access and NHS Performance and Improvement are working with health boards to reduce waiting times.”

For more information, visit the NHS website. To donate to Jasmin’s fundraiser, visit her GoFundMe page.