‘Mates spent week-long vacation from hell bonking random strangers beneath my nostril’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who is in two minds about going on another holiday with her horny pals

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If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

It was the holiday from hell

My three closest girlfriends are keen to get a holiday booked for August. But how do I avoid a repeat of last summer’s disastrous trip? My selfish mates were a nightmare. They spent the break drinking, arguing and bonking around.

Back in March 2025, I was thrilled when we found a reasonable apartment in Spain for a week-long stay. I set up a dedicated WhatsApp group where we discussed all the practicalities – who would be driving, cooking and clearing up. I was excited for a fun, relaxing stay. Relaxing? That was a joke. From the minute we arrived I was rushed off my feet. Sadly, the apartment was filthy and I’m a germ freak, so I spent the whole of the first day scrubbing.

My mates declared themselves exhausted and flopped by the communal pool. I went to the supermarket alone and spent a fortune on groceries. They drank rose wine by the bucketload, sunbathed and behaved like divas. I, basically, kept the whole place together. If I wasn’t cooking and washing up, then I was picking up wet towels and driving everyone to the beach, bars and clubs. The girl I was sharing a room with bought back a different guy virtually every night. They bonked and screamed while I attempted to sleep.

I finally lost my rag on the Friday when she bought TWO guys and a girl back for sex games. I begged her to behave but she accused ME of being a killjoy.

I flew home exhausted and angry. I immediately sent each friend a bill for all the money they owed me for food, petrol and booze and it took until October for everyone to (very reluctantly) pay me back.

We’re all still friends (just) but if I don’t go on the next holiday then they will be an odd number.

JANE SAYS: There’s no doubt in my mind that your friends took advantage of your good nature during that horrible break. You threw yourself into creating a fun experience for everyone involved. But they were ungrateful, lazy and childish. Can you really contemplate another trip with them especially, if you suspect, that they only want you in tow to make up the numbers. I urge you to seriously think this through. How much is an upcoming trip going to cost you in terms of cash, energy and holiday entitlement? Are you convinced that they are capable of change because I must confess that I’m not – and I don’t even know them. From what you say, they acted like a bunch of brats the last time around.

They took advantage and knocked themselves out with booze. Of course, everyone wanted to enjoy themselves, but you were not the hired help. Just because you’re kind and hardworking, doesn’t mean that others are entitled to take you for granted. As for the friend who brought back multiple lovers for sleazy sex, has she ever apologised for waking and upsetting you? You may have known these women for a long time, but they don’t own you and I don’t feel as if they respect you either. That’s a tough pill to swallow but wouldn’t you be better off spending your precious time with considerate people who care?

I’m not respected

I’m no longer enjoying my job.

I’ve begun to feel side-lined. Increasingly my clever ideas are taken away from me and given to other colleagues to work on. In fact, one of my original concepts once won an industry award. The woman who sits next to me recently received a bonus and promotion off the back of one of my ideas.

I’m sick of being used up and overlooked, but what can I do when I need this gig?

JANE SAYS: No one would blame you for feeling unappreciated, especially when your ideas are not being properly acknowledged. It could be that your bosses have identified you as the ‘big thinker’, but other colleagues are better at dealing with the fine details.

Do you feel you are fairly paid for what you do?

Can you speak to your immediate boss and ask why you’re so frequently knocked back? Make a note of everything that has happened so far and stand up for yourself. Mention your achievements and your value to the company.

Keep an open mind because he or she may say some things that you don’t like. Are you inclined to also speak to HR? Ultimately, you may have to consider your options and think about moving on. Sadly, if this firm isn’t a good enough fit; if the powers-that-be don’t fully appreciate you, then take your skills elsewhere.

Tricky dicky

My ex tricked me into bed by pretending to be seriously ill. He rang me in a panic late at night. He explained that he’d just been discharged from hospital. Could I go round to see him and bring food and juice?

What could I say? I turned up and he looked terrible.

He cried and asked for a cuddle. One thing led to another, and we ended up having sex in his bed. Now I’ve discovered that he grossly exaggerated his condition. He’s fine. How can I get rid of him when he believes our one-off bonk proves we could be good again?

JANE SAYS: Pretending to be ill was a low trick. Your ex cynically exploited your compassion. Now he needs to hear the episode won’t be repeated and that he’s to leave you alone. Sadly, if he becomes a nuisance then you will have to sever all contact with a view to reporting him to the police. Don’t feel compromised or ashamed of yourself. Confide in trusted friends and family members and ask for support and help in moving on. Your manipulative ex needs to be consigned to history. You owe him nothing and must not feel guilty for getting tough when he can’t be trusted.

They’re eyeing me up

I’m in a flat share with another girl. She has a new boyfriend and they’re enjoying a lot of noisy sex. I’m convinced that they deliberately make more noise that is necessary to embarrass me or even turn me on. I’m terrified that they’re going to ask me to join in. I’m not interested in a threesome.

JANE SAYS: Get your flat mate on her on, in the clear light of day, and make your position clear. Leave her in no doubt that you’re not into threesomes. Can she be encouraged to pipe down for your sake? Obviously, you don’t want to fall out with her but it’s your space too and she needs to start being more considerate. Point out that she’s impressing no one.