If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Looks familiar
I recently enjoyed wild sex with my best mate’s bloke.
Does she deserve to know that he’s touting for sex via a popular app?
I’m newly single and up for fun. I was very hurt by my ex who dumped me on a whim. These days I refuse to take life too seriously.
I’ve got a number of part-time lovers on the go, plus I check out the apps whenever I fancy a laugh.
That’s how my mate’s bloke and I ended up in bed together. I checked out his profile and liked what I saw. I thought he seemed familiar but couldn’t place him.
We met for drinks and ended up in a hotel room,
We made love all night and it was fantastic. He was passionate, demanding and very rude. We must have done it half a dozen times, and I orgasmed over and over.
In the morning he admitted he knew me and asked to see me again. I’m single and a free agent but does she deserve to hear about this?
He shouldn’t be playing away from home – should he?
Especially as she’s desperate to start a family.
Despite everything I do like my mate and hate the idea of her being let down and disappointed.
JANE SAYS: I get it that you’re young, free and single, but there’s never any excuse for stabbing a mate in the back.
Usually, I would advise leaving alone and keeping out of someone else’s business, but in this case, I think she deserves to know what she’s dealing with. If this guy is on a dating app; if he’s putting himself about and having sex with a variety of women, then he could be putting her sexual health in danger. Sadly, you don’t mention whether you and he used condom (I sincerely hope you did), but if he’s not practising safe sex, then she’s in real danger. Take a deep breath and call her. Tell her that you need to meet and have a chat.
Then, as calmly as you can, explain that you’re a single girl, living your life by your own rules, but in doing so, you recently came across her bloke. Tell her that you’re sorry, but the man is a cheat. She can’t trust him. It’s very likely that she’ll blow her top and accuse you of being a relationship breaker, but you’ll just have to take that.
What’s vitally important is that she understands who she’s sleeping with. You can’t ever see him again.
Ungrateful runt
I can’t rely on my son for anything. I was recently thrown out by my ex-partner, and I had to beg my boy to be allowed to stay at his place. Even then he insisted I pay for my food and accommodation. One evening he opened a bottle of wine, and I had to ask for a glass.
He has always been supremely selfish and unhelpful. Other friends get flowers and nice lunches from their kids; I get nothing. I’m now crashing with an old friend.
There’s no doubt that my son views me as a major pain – and that hurts. He’s 28.
JANE SAYS: Are you inclined to remind your son of the all the wonderful things you’ve done for him over the years? All the meals you cooked, the clothes you washed and the messes you cleared up? He sounds supremely cruel and ungrateful.
I urge you to put him out of your mind for the time being. Concentrate on getting back on your feet again.
Then, once you’re feeling more secure and settled, you could suggest an honest chat.
It’s a shame that he’s not more caring but we’re all different. Once you’re stronger then you both decide what kind of relationship you’re comfortable with moving forward. Perhaps he’ll become more caring and generous with age? We can only hope…
Free for all
I’m sick of my family and friends making demands of me. A month ago, I sent out ‘save the date’ notices for my 40th birthday bash. People are already demanding plus one’s; special meals and even lifts to the venue. One mate is miffed that her daughter and her three children haven’t been invited, even though I don’t know them. What is it with folk?
JANE SAYS: This will be your special day – and you are entitled to do things your way. Only invite the people you know and love and politely tell the others that numbers are limited. If they don’t like that, then bad luck. It sounds like your family, and friends have a strong sense of entitlement, but not everyone can attend every event. Stick to your guns and don’t be intimidated or feel inclined to waste your money on leeches.