‘My daughter is obsessive about intercourse along with her older married lover – he takes benefit of her’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Riot act
My daughter is in her late twenties, and her married lover is twice her age. She lives on her own and he visits her for drinks and sex whenever his wife’s back is turned.
He’s oily and flash and he takes advantage.
Last week I read her the riot act. I told her that she is selling herself short. She’s desperate for love and affection. I said that she deserved better and she stormed off.
Now she’s ignoring my calls. I feel I’m being frozen out and am very tempted to tell his wife everything.
All I want to do is help and protect my girl. Is that so wrong?
JANE SAYS: You’re in danger of alienating yourself. I’d keep out of your adult daughter’s business if I were you.
Yes, it does seem very sad that she’s throwing her life away on a married man who may be using her for his own sexual gratification, but she’s a grown woman.
If she’s working and living in her own place, then she’s entitled to make all the mistakes she likes.
You’ve spoken your mind; she knows how you feel; now make your peace with her and concentrate solely on your relationship.
Write her a letter or send her an email explaining that you respect her privacy. Promise never to comment on her private life again. She has to know that she can trust you. As for telling his wife? Forget it. This is not your call.
Stinky schemes
I don’t know my new husband of six months.
The more I hear about his work and his dealings with other people, the more I realise that he’s ruthless.
He lies through his teeth and makes me feel bad for challenging him. Several friends have complained that he keeps badgering them for loans.
He’s even asked my brother to invest in a scheme that is so obviously bent it stinks. People have stopped inviting us over. How can I change him before it’s too late?
JANE SAYS: You can’t change your husband. He’ll only change if he wants to. If he doesn’t then you have to think again.
It’s vital that you trust your instincts. If you feel that you made a mistake in marrying this man, then take a step back. Does he accept that anything is wrong?
If the answer is ‘no’ then I suggest you take a large sheet of paper and write down everything that bugs you about him.
Once you have a clearer, written picture of the man you’re living with, then you may decide that he’s not for you. There’s no shame in admitting that you’ve made a mistake. What you can’t do is allow yourself to be dragged down by him.
Tears of frustration
I can’t be bothered to have sex with my girlfriend.
I have no appetite for sex. I hate disappointing her and letting her down. Several times she’s thumped the pillow with tears of sexual frustration. What can I do to prevent her from walking out the door?
JANE SAYS: Be honest with your girlfriend. Tell her that you’re struggling, but you’re seeking professional help. Then go and see your GP. Lack of desire can be caused by a physical or psychological problem.
Obesity, diabetes and drug abuse can be causes along with depression, stress and negative childhood experiences. It could also be that you need to start making sex a priority again.
Book date nights and pencil in early bedtimes. Start doing all the things you did when you first got together.
